This week on Friday I’m in Bed, we’re diving into one big topic — what Love is Blind is accidentally revealing about incel culture, the “Pilates princess” myth, and what women actually want versus what men have been told we want.
It all kicked off with Chris and Jessica on the current series of Love is Blind. She’s a doctor. She’s gorgeous. They connected, they got intimate, everything was going well. Then he saw her house (massive, beautiful, full of personality) and suddenly he’s not sexually attracted to her anymore. The reason? She doesn’t do CrossFit. She’s not a “Pilates woman.” She’s a UK size 10 who was on the front line during COVID and works in a hospital. Reader, she dumped him. And we all cheered.
But here’s the thing — this isn’t really about Pilates. The “Pilates princess” is a type, and the type is very specific. Young, blonde, white, slim, wears neutrals, drinks matcha, and crucially, not opinionated. Not political. Not a feminist. Safe. It’s incel language dressed up as a dating preference, and Kate’s been doing some digging into what phrases like “looks after herself” and “no drama” actually mean in red pill culture. Spoiler: they mean “don’t argue with me.”
We get into the gap between what men think women want (six packs, big bank accounts, height) and what women actually want (emotional maturity, kindness, humour, someone who treats them like a human being). We talk about why so many young men feel entitled to a “trophy wife” even when they’re not living up to their own side of this imaginary bargain, and how that entitlement gets framed as women’s fault. We unpack the friend zone myth, the Rihanna comparison that’s been going viral, and why “bodies change” shouldn’t be a revolutionary statement but apparently still is.
There’s also a detour into whether financial alignment matters in relationships (Kate’s got a great story about her credit card, her shoe collection, and her husband’s zero-debt policy), and why the real issue isn’t money — it’s whether you see your partner as a person or a purchase.
Gem’s in Morocco this week so this one was pre-recorded, and yes, she did become a Pilates princess while preparing for this episode. Sort of. She fell over a lot.
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